domingo, 25 de janeiro de 2009

O passado contado às crianças...

Ele dizia-lhe que a felicidade não existia. Que a partir de uma certa idade as pessoas fazem as escolhas que lhes parecem mais correctas para um resto de existência o mais normal e pacato possível. No fundo no fundo ele só queria ser feliz, mas não teve coragem para realizar o sonho, preferindo sonhá-lo noite após noite... fazendo-o de modo tão metódico e pensado que, de vez em quando, conseguia que esse sonho fosse de algum modo correspondido...
Depois houve um dia em que ele deixou de conseguir sonhar. A felicidade - que podia ser uma raposa matreira - decidiu que, sem a coragem de a assumir, de o assumir e de se assumir, ele não voltaria a sonhar.
E então ele viveu de forma normal para sempre. Como, aliás, o vizinho de cima, o de baixo... como o amigo do café, como as miudas giras que via, como o colega de escritório... como a maior parte das pessoas que todos conhecemos.
*
"Só hoje esperei, já sem desespero, que a noite caísse. Nenhuma palavra, foi hoje diferente, do que já se disse. E há qualquer coisa a nascer, bem dentro no fundo de mim. E há uma força a vencer, qualquer outro fim...Não quero levar o que dei, talvez nem sequer o que é meu... É que hoje parece bastar... Um pouco de céu" (Mafalda Veiga, "Um pouco de céu")
Sim... talvez um dia Ele apareça para almoçar... ou talvez nos encontremos num qualquer fim de tarde na praia... ou às compras no Jumbo... nesse dia tenho a certeza que não te vais lembrar que ele foi o bocadinho de céu que me apareceu no meio das nuvens, que reinavam na beira de abismo que nunca deixaste de ser na minha vida. E no meio da tempestade de coisas que eventualmente possam ser sentidas, Ele vai ser sempre Ele, e vou respeitá-lo até à morte por ser quem é, aconteça o que acontecer. E a única coisa que te vou pedir nesse momento, e que sei que vais perceber e compreender, é que o respeites também, quanto mais não seja por ter sido tudo o que tu não foste por mim e para mim.
*
Por tudo. E acima de tudo porque sei que me lês.

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